September 5, 2009
Today I had a rude awakening when it was one of the funniest, most hectic, and drama filled days at Parkview. I really didn't think it could get any worse than CSI, the whole entire SPokane Police, and the news stations pulling up because of Gang fights and runaways. But...I decided to come to work early today, at 8am and work all the way til 5 (usually I go 9 to 4). Although today wasn't what I would consider a "scary" day at parkview...meaning I didn't have any threats or guns pulled out, it was rather interesting.For starters, I had a tenant call me to tell me about her personal life. However, this isn't a normal situation with her, considering she is scared of every freaking person and thing on this planet. She called to inform me that, "I had sex with that friend of mine, that guy that has been taking me around everywhere...it was sooo strange. I haven't had sex in.....18 years!" WOWZA! And what the heck do you say to that? 6 months ago, I would have had my mouth dropped to the floor, but today I simply replied...."oope!" She responded by letting me know how incredibly uncomfortable it was and questioning whether it was going to get better for them or not, since, you know, she didn't have an "o" and "couldn't wait for it to be over." I simply told her that she needs to be confident with who she is and what she is doing, and I am sure her sex life will improve significantly. SERIOUSLY........GOOD LORD! It wasn't so much that she was telling me about her sex life, or lack thereof, but the thought of this woman having sex was out of this world. Not to discredit her, but I would rather not know about the sex lives of my psychologically and emotionally screwed up tenants. And especially someone who hasn't had sex in about as long as I have been alive, I can only image. I could do without.As if that was too much to ask.
It wasn't about 10 minutes later when another tenant comes in, whom we have been haivng some problems with regarding "noise disturbances" aka domestic violence. Her boyfriend beats the living crap out of her, to the point where the cops are called and the children below her are suffering psychologically from all the trauma. So, when I told her he was no longer allowed on this property and enough is enough, she proceeded to tell me she was competely unaware of what was going on....like I am seriously that stupid. I mean you can look at the guy and tell he is crazy....or I guess you could see the bruises all over her body. Either way, if she wants to get beaten up, that isher decision, but not on my property. So, after yelling and screaming at me last week..she came in today all good and dandy. She must have had an epiphany over the weekend. She kicked him out... or so she says. She is in disbelief that her boyfriend has to leave the property, and can't believe that people think they were fighting. You know why? Cuz " WE WERE JUST HAVING SEX!!!" she says as she was standing in front of my desk in the office. If it wasn't for my morals, I would have started laughing so hard, but I had to put that aside and look at her like a bright green elephant just walked into the room. I looked at her, not sure if I should tell her that her boobs are falling out of her t-shirt or if I should just be quiet for a few minutes. So, I stared at her gaping, and then once again, had to imagine her and her disguisting boyfriend having sex. This time, I was wondering what in the world kind of sex this was if it sounded like he was beating her. This is some extreme S&M. I mean, be wild and crazy...try some new things, but beating the crap out of eachother while having sex? Hmmmm, no wonder. Anyways, since she can't read, I showed her how to fill out her money order and simply told her that, she is entitled to her personal life, but when it is affecting the lives of others, whether it be sex, arguing, fighting, parties, television... she will be asked to leave. Once again, I could have done without the image of her and .....ohhh man.
Enough said about that.If only I could say the rest of the day was mellow, and I got to finish up all my paperwork and organize in my office. Yah right! I was kept up all night from the police banging on my neighbor's door the night before. FIrst of all, my neighbor is an 18-year old female, with a 2 year old daughter...this tenant is either drinking, smoking, hanging around wtih random sleeze ball boys, or trying to make friends with the next dude taht comes along. Her daughter very frequently calls me or my roommate "mom" cuz she is confused as to who her real mother is. (So sad!) She's a girl who is very caught up in all the wrong things. At first it made me sad, until I realized that she continually puts herself in the worst positions. Well, anyways, after a couple hourse of police knocks and yelling into her apartment, she finally came to the door. She must have realized that it really is possible for them to come in with a warrant, and then she really would be in deep shit. So....the seven cop cars that were surrounding the complex and refusing to leave finally got a hold of her. come to find out....she was arrested for armed robbery. Well word on the "street" is that she is an accessory to the fact. Either way, I guess I ahve to proceed wtih yet another eviction. Probably because she started hanging out wtih Tamik, the girl above me, who happens to be the neighbor trickster...if you catch my drift. So, my day was over...almost. I went swimming, and when I got back....I hear a lot of commotion coming from Ms. Armed Robbery's apartment. 'Hmmmm, she is in jail, so that is pretty interesting,' is what I thought to myself. So, without hesitation (this is the first time I have acted so quickly and directly) I walked right up to her door (which is missing the door handle...wtf!) and banged on it like I was the Spokane Police. One of the guys who was blatantly high came to the door and I said in a very strict and stern voice, "Where is A---?" He looked at me dumbfounded like "wtf lady?!?" And I said, "Look, I know Alex isn't here, and not ONE of you guys are authorized to be in this apartment. I suggest you get out of here immediately. If you are not out in the next 5 minutes, I will call the cops. And I am NOT joking." And I turned and walked away. Not even five minutes later, people started piling out of this 2 bedroom apartment. It wouldn't have surprised me if 5 or 6 people were in there, but watching them come out......11, 12, 13.....14, 15.....15 people piled out of that apartment! And what a wide variety of people! I really didn't feel bad for raining on their parade, to be honest. Well, its midnight now, so I guess I can try to get some sleep.
Maybe tomorrow will be even more adventurous.In the meantime....I have to keep track of the funny things my tenants and/or friends say to me on a day-to-day basis.....
QOD #1:"You look very.....special today. Very....smart and professional." Lorin Emery, the biggest creeper on the face of this planet, who only tells me these things when his wife (also a huge weirdo) is not anywhere to be found. "special, smart, and professional" wtf ....I look the same every freaking day!
QOD#2:Karen: "Pete and I decided you need to play hard to get. that is really the only option at this point."Kenzie: "Well, believe me, I can do that. but hopefully he realizes he wants me back BEFORE hard to get turns into 'I don't give a shit'....well cuz ...I guess then I won't give a shit!
"QOD#3:Shawna: "Gosh, I see Jared Walker and his ugly girlfriend everywhere, they always break up...get together...break up...get together. Probably because she has so much cellulite.Kenzie:"Well, shit I dont have any cellulite really and my boyfriend broke up with me!"Shawna: "Well I don't have ANY and I don't have a boyfriend at all!!!"
QOD #3:Kenzie : "What do you want to be when you grow up guys?"Ross (My 10 year old boy): "i am gonna be the next Adrien Peterson!!!!"Shaya (his 9-year old sis): I wanna be a singer, a lawyer....or A PROPERTY MANAGER! JUST LIKE YOU!"Kenzie: "ohh, wow that is SO cool!"BUT REALLY what I meant was, OMG don't do that to yourself! You have no idea what you are saying right now!QOD #4:At master's swim practice.....Man #1 (he's about 32 yrs old) "When I grow up..I wanna be JUST LIKE MAC!"Girl #1 (she is about 27 yrs old) "Yeah, no kidding, me too
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
it gets better n better
Today I had a rude awakening when it was one of the funniest, most hectic, and drama filled days at Parkview. I really didn't think it could get any worse than CSI, the whole entire SPokane Police, and the news stations pulling up because of Gang fights and runaways. But...I decided to come to work early today, at 8am and work all the way til 5 (usually I go 9 to 4). Although today wasn't what I would consider a "scary" day at parkview...meaning I didn't have any threats or guns pulled out, it was rather interesting.
For starters, I had a tenant call me to tell me about her personal life. However, this isn't a normal situation with her, considering she is scared of every freaking person and thing on this planet. She called to inform me that, "I had sex with that friend of mine, that guy that has been taking me around everywhere...it was sooo strange. I haven't had sex in.....18 years!" WOWZA! And what the heck do you say to that? 6 months ago, I would have had my mouth dropped to the floor, but today I simply replied...."oope!" She responded by letting me know how incredibly uncomfortable it was and questioning whether it was going to get better for them or not, since, you know, she didn't have an "o" and "couldn't wait for it to be over." I simply told her that she needs to be confident with who she is and what she is doing, and I am sure her sex life will improve significantly. SERIOUSLY........GOOD LORD! It wasn't so much that she was telling me about her sex life, or lack thereof, but the thought of this woman having sex was out of this world. Not to discredit her, but I would rather not know about the sex lives of my psychologically and emotionally screwed up tenants. And especially someone who hasn't had sex in about as long as I have been alive, I can only image. I could do without.
As if that was too much to ask. It wasn't about 10 minutes later when another tenant comes in, whom we have been haivng some problems with regarding "noise disturbances" aka domestic violence. Her boyfriend beats the living crap out of her, to the point where the cops are called and the children below her are suffering psychologically from all the trauma. So, when I told her he was no longer allowed on this property and enough is enough, she proceeded to tell me she was competely unaware of what was going on....like I am seriously that stupid. I mean you can look at the guy and tell he is crazy....or I guess you could see the bruises all over her body. Either way, if she wants to get beaten up, that isher decision, but not on my property. So, after yelling and screaming at me last week..she came in today all good and dandy. She must have had an epiphany over the weekend. She kicked him out... or so she says. She is in disbelief that her boyfriend has to leave the property, and can't believe that people think they were fighting. You know why? Cuz " WE WERE JUST HAVING SEX!!!" she says as she was standing in front of my desk in the office. If it wasn't for my morals, I would have started laughing so hard, but I had to put that aside and look at her like a bright green elephant just walked into the room. I looked at her, not sure if I should tell her that her boobs are falling out of her t-shirt or if I should just be quiet for a few minutes. So, I stared at her gaping, and then once again, had to imagine her and her disguisting boyfriend having sex. This time, I was wondering what in the world kind of sex this was if it sounded like he was beating her. This is some extreme S&M. I mean, be wild and crazy...try some new things, but beating the crap out of eachother while having sex? Hmmmm, no wonder. Anyways, since she can't read, I showed her how to fill out her money order and simply told her that, she is entitled to her personal life, but when it is affecting the lives of others, whether it be sex, arguing, fighting, parties, television... she will be asked to leave. Once again, I could have done without the image of her and .....ohhh man. Enough said about that.
If only I could say the rest of the day was mellow, and I got to finish up all my paperwork and organize in my office. Yah right! I was kept up all night from the police banging on my neighbor's door the night before. FIrst of all, my neighbor is an 18-year old female, with a 2 year old daughter...this tenant is either drinking, smoking, hanging around wtih random sleeze ball boys, or trying to make friends with the next dude taht comes along. Her daughter very frequently calls me or my roommate "mom" cuz she is confused as to who her real mother is. (So sad!) She's a girl who is very caught up in all the wrong things. At first it made me sad, until I realized that she continually puts herself in the worst positions. Well, anyways, after a couple hourse of police knocks and yelling into her apartment, she finally came to the door. She must have realized that it really is possible for them to come in with a warrant, and then she really would be in deep shit. So....the seven cop cars that were surrounding the complex and refusing to leave finally got a hold of her. come to find out....she was arrested for armed robbery. Well word on the "street" is that she is an accessory to the fact. Either way, I guess I ahve to proceed wtih yet another eviction. Probably because she started hanging out wtih Tamik, the girl above me, who happens to be the neighbor trickster...if you catch my drift.
So, my day was over...almost. I went swimming, and when I got back....I hear a lot of commotion coming from Ms. Armed Robbery's apartment. 'Hmmmm, she is in jail, so that is pretty interesting,' is what I thought to myself. So, without hesitation (this is the first time I have acted so quickly and directly) I walked right up to her door (which is missing the door handle...wtf!) and banged on it like I was the Spokane Police. One of the guys who was blatantly high came to the door and I said in a very strict and stern voice, "Where is A---?" He looked at me dumbfounded like "wtf lady?!?" And I said, "Look, I know Alex isn't here, and not ONE of you guys are authorized to be in this apartment. I suggest you get out of here immediately. If you are not out in the next 5 minutes, I will call the cops. And I am NOT joking." And I turned and walked away. Not even five minutes later, people started piling out of this 2 bedroom apartment. It wouldn't have surprised me if 5 or 6 people were in there, but watching them come out......11, 12, 13.....14, 15.....15 people piled out of that apartment! And what a wide variety of people! I really didn't feel bad for raining on their parade, to be honest. Well, its midnight now, so I guess I can try to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be even more adventurous.
In the meantime....I have to keep track of the funny things my tenants and/or friends say to me on a day-to-day basis.....
QOD #1:
"You look very.....special today. Very....smart and professional." Lorin Emery, the biggest creeper on the face of this planet, who only tells me these things when his wife (also a huge weirdo) is not anywhere to be found. "special, smart, and professional" wtf ....I look the same every freaking day!
QOD#2:
Karen: "Pete and I decided you need to play hard to get. that is really the only option at this point."
Kenzie: "Well, believe me, I can do that. but hopefully he realizes he wants me back BEFORE hard to get turns into 'I don't give a shit'....well cuz ...I guess then I won't give a shit!"
QOD#3:
Shawna: "Gosh, I see Jared Walker and his ugly girlfriend everywhere, they always break up...get together...break up...get together. Probably because she has so much cellulite.
Kenzie:"Well, shit I dont have any cellulite really and my boyfriend broke up with me!"
Shawna: "Well I don't have ANY and I don't have a boyfriend at all!!!"
QOD #3:
Kenzie : "What do you want to be when you grow up guys?"
Ross (My 10 year old boy): "i am gonna be the next Adrien Peterson!!!!"
Shaya (his 9-year old sis): I wanna be a singer, a lawyer....or A PROPERTY MANAGER! JUST LIKE YOU!"
Kenzie: "ohh, wow that is SO cool!"
BUT REALLY what I meant was, OMG don't do that to yourself! You have no idea what you are saying right now!
QOD #4:
At master's swim practice.....
Man #1 (he's about 32 yrs old) "When I grow up..I wanna be JUST LIKE MAC!"
Girl #1 (she is about 27 yrs old) "Yeah, no kidding, me too!"
what the hell people?!
For starters, I had a tenant call me to tell me about her personal life. However, this isn't a normal situation with her, considering she is scared of every freaking person and thing on this planet. She called to inform me that, "I had sex with that friend of mine, that guy that has been taking me around everywhere...it was sooo strange. I haven't had sex in.....18 years!" WOWZA! And what the heck do you say to that? 6 months ago, I would have had my mouth dropped to the floor, but today I simply replied...."oope!" She responded by letting me know how incredibly uncomfortable it was and questioning whether it was going to get better for them or not, since, you know, she didn't have an "o" and "couldn't wait for it to be over." I simply told her that she needs to be confident with who she is and what she is doing, and I am sure her sex life will improve significantly. SERIOUSLY........GOOD LORD! It wasn't so much that she was telling me about her sex life, or lack thereof, but the thought of this woman having sex was out of this world. Not to discredit her, but I would rather not know about the sex lives of my psychologically and emotionally screwed up tenants. And especially someone who hasn't had sex in about as long as I have been alive, I can only image. I could do without.
As if that was too much to ask. It wasn't about 10 minutes later when another tenant comes in, whom we have been haivng some problems with regarding "noise disturbances" aka domestic violence. Her boyfriend beats the living crap out of her, to the point where the cops are called and the children below her are suffering psychologically from all the trauma. So, when I told her he was no longer allowed on this property and enough is enough, she proceeded to tell me she was competely unaware of what was going on....like I am seriously that stupid. I mean you can look at the guy and tell he is crazy....or I guess you could see the bruises all over her body. Either way, if she wants to get beaten up, that isher decision, but not on my property. So, after yelling and screaming at me last week..she came in today all good and dandy. She must have had an epiphany over the weekend. She kicked him out... or so she says. She is in disbelief that her boyfriend has to leave the property, and can't believe that people think they were fighting. You know why? Cuz " WE WERE JUST HAVING SEX!!!" she says as she was standing in front of my desk in the office. If it wasn't for my morals, I would have started laughing so hard, but I had to put that aside and look at her like a bright green elephant just walked into the room. I looked at her, not sure if I should tell her that her boobs are falling out of her t-shirt or if I should just be quiet for a few minutes. So, I stared at her gaping, and then once again, had to imagine her and her disguisting boyfriend having sex. This time, I was wondering what in the world kind of sex this was if it sounded like he was beating her. This is some extreme S&M. I mean, be wild and crazy...try some new things, but beating the crap out of eachother while having sex? Hmmmm, no wonder. Anyways, since she can't read, I showed her how to fill out her money order and simply told her that, she is entitled to her personal life, but when it is affecting the lives of others, whether it be sex, arguing, fighting, parties, television... she will be asked to leave. Once again, I could have done without the image of her and .....ohhh man. Enough said about that.
If only I could say the rest of the day was mellow, and I got to finish up all my paperwork and organize in my office. Yah right! I was kept up all night from the police banging on my neighbor's door the night before. FIrst of all, my neighbor is an 18-year old female, with a 2 year old daughter...this tenant is either drinking, smoking, hanging around wtih random sleeze ball boys, or trying to make friends with the next dude taht comes along. Her daughter very frequently calls me or my roommate "mom" cuz she is confused as to who her real mother is. (So sad!) She's a girl who is very caught up in all the wrong things. At first it made me sad, until I realized that she continually puts herself in the worst positions. Well, anyways, after a couple hourse of police knocks and yelling into her apartment, she finally came to the door. She must have realized that it really is possible for them to come in with a warrant, and then she really would be in deep shit. So....the seven cop cars that were surrounding the complex and refusing to leave finally got a hold of her. come to find out....she was arrested for armed robbery. Well word on the "street" is that she is an accessory to the fact. Either way, I guess I ahve to proceed wtih yet another eviction. Probably because she started hanging out wtih Tamik, the girl above me, who happens to be the neighbor trickster...if you catch my drift.
So, my day was over...almost. I went swimming, and when I got back....I hear a lot of commotion coming from Ms. Armed Robbery's apartment. 'Hmmmm, she is in jail, so that is pretty interesting,' is what I thought to myself. So, without hesitation (this is the first time I have acted so quickly and directly) I walked right up to her door (which is missing the door handle...wtf!) and banged on it like I was the Spokane Police. One of the guys who was blatantly high came to the door and I said in a very strict and stern voice, "Where is A---?" He looked at me dumbfounded like "wtf lady?!?" And I said, "Look, I know Alex isn't here, and not ONE of you guys are authorized to be in this apartment. I suggest you get out of here immediately. If you are not out in the next 5 minutes, I will call the cops. And I am NOT joking." And I turned and walked away. Not even five minutes later, people started piling out of this 2 bedroom apartment. It wouldn't have surprised me if 5 or 6 people were in there, but watching them come out......11, 12, 13.....14, 15.....15 people piled out of that apartment! And what a wide variety of people! I really didn't feel bad for raining on their parade, to be honest. Well, its midnight now, so I guess I can try to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be even more adventurous.
In the meantime....I have to keep track of the funny things my tenants and/or friends say to me on a day-to-day basis.....
QOD #1:
"You look very.....special today. Very....smart and professional." Lorin Emery, the biggest creeper on the face of this planet, who only tells me these things when his wife (also a huge weirdo) is not anywhere to be found. "special, smart, and professional" wtf ....I look the same every freaking day!
QOD#2:
Karen: "Pete and I decided you need to play hard to get. that is really the only option at this point."
Kenzie: "Well, believe me, I can do that. but hopefully he realizes he wants me back BEFORE hard to get turns into 'I don't give a shit'....well cuz ...I guess then I won't give a shit!"
QOD#3:
Shawna: "Gosh, I see Jared Walker and his ugly girlfriend everywhere, they always break up...get together...break up...get together. Probably because she has so much cellulite.
Kenzie:"Well, shit I dont have any cellulite really and my boyfriend broke up with me!"
Shawna: "Well I don't have ANY and I don't have a boyfriend at all!!!"
QOD #3:
Kenzie : "What do you want to be when you grow up guys?"
Ross (My 10 year old boy): "i am gonna be the next Adrien Peterson!!!!"
Shaya (his 9-year old sis): I wanna be a singer, a lawyer....or A PROPERTY MANAGER! JUST LIKE YOU!"
Kenzie: "ohh, wow that is SO cool!"
BUT REALLY what I meant was, OMG don't do that to yourself! You have no idea what you are saying right now!
QOD #4:
At master's swim practice.....
Man #1 (he's about 32 yrs old) "When I grow up..I wanna be JUST LIKE MAC!"
Girl #1 (she is about 27 yrs old) "Yeah, no kidding, me too!"
what the hell people?!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)